Save The Marriage System-Marriage & Relationships
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Surviving the first year of marriage is a great accomplishment. Simply because of the marriage adjustments you and your spouse will go through as a newly married couple.
Everyone likes to assume that wedded bliss and honeymoon phase lasts forever. In truth, adjusting to married life presents several unique challenges. You have to merge two very different lives after all!
Like many newlyweds, our first year of marriage was not easy. It seemed that it was all emergency mode. From one thing to another.
We certainly couldn’t have made it alone, even when it came to changing Ashley’s last name. And wished a book like our First Year of Marriage book for newlyweds existed.
If you feel overwhelmed, confused, or scared about surviving your first year of marriage, don’t worry. Below are 25 tips for newlyweds that will help you survive the first year of marriage.
How to survive your first year of marriage tips
1. Be on the same page with your spouse.
Especially when it comes to important issues such as finances, kids and when to have them, sex, intimacy, creating a monthly family budget, career, etc. This is much easier said than done, but being in agreement is paramount to making your marriage work. And this will take communication.
2. Let your expectations in marriage be known to each other.
And then agree to compromise on your differences.
3. The first year is a transition period.
So be ready to learn, compromise, and adjust to each other. Work through your differences and move from thinking as I instead to WE.
If you are going to change your name after marriage, do it asap so it does not bring unwanted stress to your marriage.
4. There will be conflicts!
But your goal should be to go to bed happy. So work it out in the best way that fits your personality.
Your spouse might need a longer time to cool off and think things through while you might want it solved pronto.
Don’t shy away from conflict, rather instead learn how to fight fair and listen to them with empathy.
5. Avoid the blame game.
Don’t be selfish.
And don’t keep score or judge your spouse too quickly.
You are on the same team. When one of you loses, so does the other.
So come together as a unit to solve the problem together.
6. Decide not to use the D word (divorce) as an idol threat. Divorce should always be a last option after you’ve tried everything in your power to work through whatever issues come up (unless there are special circumstances i.e. abuse, addiction, infidelity). Never say it in anger for shock value, or to hurt your spouse.
7. Allow each other time to adjust in the first year by adapting yourself and not trying to change your spouse.
You must be two independent people who work together interdependently.
8. Marriage is a 100/100 partnership, not the 50/50 we hear.
If you are not each giving 100% then you are not committed to your marriage and your spouse. In order to have a healthy, happy, lasting marriage you must both be fully committed.
9. Always improve the good.
Learn from the negative experiences that occur in the first year. And all throughout your marriage.
When you mess up, apologize.
Continue your personal growth, and keep each other in the loop, thus growing together. If you find something that works, keep doing it.
What we wished we had known before getting married:
We wished we had known how to communicate effectively with each other. Simply because we struggled to communicate effectively during the first few months of our marriage.
As you know, communication is one of the most common marriage problems many couples face every single day.
Furthermore, a lot of marriage problems happen either because of no communication or of the lack of effective communication between couples. So learning how to communicate with your spouse should become one of your priorities now.
Seek help during your First Year
Fortunately for us, we are not afraid to ask for help. When we experienced some of our hardest marriage moments that first year, we sought help.
Because the fact is this:
There is someone or a married couple who has been in your shoes before that could help you solve your problems.
In other words, don’t be shy to ask for help when you need it. You will be glad you did. Trusting God and having relatives who supported us was also vital for our first year.
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